Think I might be bipolar

Well the last few days I have been having mad mood swings, going from happy to sad to irritable like someone is flicking a switch, so to try and better understand what’s going on I done an online self diagnostic test.

The results are that I am displaying signs of bipolar syndrome ☹ so tomorrow I am going to try and get an appointment to see my Dr for tests to be done.

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Arsehole Magnet

Why am I such an arsehole magnet??? My boyfriend is moaning because housing forms have gone missing yet again and he was the last person to have had them but somehow it is my fault.

Because my name is on the tenancy agreement for the house I’m having to run about chasing things up because he simply cba, we have had no money for two weeks but still he says we manage it get sorted when it gets sorted.

Now after being at the Drs all day with the baby I have to go down and post a letter because it is nothing to do with him because the tenancy is in my name. 

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Finally asked my father a few difficult questions

Ok so I have taken a deep breath and asked my dad “why?” Why did he molest me, not had a reply but I asked, I honestly believe that he couldn’t have looked at me as his daughter to be able to abuse me the way he did.

Still waiting for funds to be sorted to try and arrange counselling but that is definitely a must.

On a positive note though I have now officially have less than 24 hours before my race for life pretty muddy 5k nervous much but also really looking forward to it as well xxx  

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Mini meltdown

Ok so I had a mini meltdown tonight and yelled at my boyfriend ☹ just everything got to me and felt like nothing I say or do was good enough.

Finally admitted to him that I need to refer myself for counselling, he asked why I hadn’t done it yet and I told him the truth we cant afford it at the moment.

Feel so bad that things blew up tonight but am fed up of all the negativity, but its all my fault tonight I honestly don’t know how to let go 😢 feel like I’m not giving my best to him by trying to deal with this on my own.

Sounds so silly but am so scared that tis is all a dream, like at any moment I am going to wake up alone ☹

I hate that I feel so insecure, especially as he has been there from the beginning even after me telling him everything from the beginning.

I feel like I’m letting him down, I honestly don’t know how to let go of all the negativity ☹

Hoping the counselling will help.

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Why do the men in my life insist on making me feel like uter shit??

Ok why is it that the men in my life insist on making me feel like shit?? I took my daughter down the Drs and was advised to take her to the hospital, however we don’t get paid until tomorrow so I have an emergency appointment tomorrow morning.

When I told my boyfriend and he just went nuts the Dr is useless and doesn’t know what she is doing/talking about, erm excuse me she is the one with the medical degree!!!!

Feeling nervous and excited

Omg I really really hope that this doesn’t fall through this time I have applied to attend an business convention down in London on Friday the 17th of this month.

I am hoping to get some info on starting up my own business and self promotion etc from Lord Sugar who is going to be one of the guest speakers at the convention.

Feeling excited and really hope and pray that I get to go 😊.

Bloody typical, I should have fucking known 😢 cant go to the business convention because its on the same day as my race for life 5k.

Oh well missing my race for a convention really isn’t worth an “I told you so” from my boyfriend so will just have to keep an eye out for future opportunities of which I hope there will be many.

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